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An example of the kinds of thought processes I have while perusing the not-so-Good Book

Profile picture of girl with several positive captions ("you’re so pretty!" "stop being so cute!" etc). Second to last caption: “beautiful!”. Last caption: ”beautiful smile :)

Thought 1: Ouch. Guess her smile is the only thing you think is beautiful *****.

Thought 2: Didn’t they live together this year?

Thought 3: I wonder if she purposefully mirrored that sentence syntax…

Thought 4: Wow, if she didn’t so it on purpose, the subconscious tone really reveals a lot about their friendship (…or lack thereof! )

Thought 5, after considering the content of Thought 4: Who am I?


I’m intensely jealous of the next generation who will have something like Facebook for their whole lives. They will have the conversational history with the people in their lives all the way back to the beginning: From “hey nice to meet you” to “do you want to get coffee sometime” to “our kids have soccer practice at 6 pm tonight.” That’s a really cool idea.

This is a quote from the Facebook Blog and to be quite honest, I’m not entirely sure I want Facebook for the rest of my life. After a certain point, shouldn’t we all grow out of it? Eventually I feel it will probably become too dangerous: the mind is meant to forget. Memories fading is a coping method for the painful or embarrassing ones. If your grief never numbed to a tolerable degree, you’d spend every day reliving that pain. There is nothing “cool” about being reminded how socially awkward you might have been at age 15 or being able to relive the awful words someone might have once said to you. 

Perplexing: Info Pages on the “New” FB

All I’m saying is, I liked it when I could list the things I liked without having them boxed up, linked to a page on the topic, and then consummately displayed with that weird orb shape next to it.

Why? It was more minimalist and it made listing your interests a worthwhile endeavor.

I honestly want to just delete all the data connected to my facebook because the info page is so gosh darn busy looking.

Yeah FB, I realize you’re on a quest to categorize and link the world. Does that mean you have to make it hulking, awkward, and ugly looking too?

Didn’t think so…

Fun Fact: Your FB Friendships are Comparable to Super Mario (or other video game of choice)

Sounds ridiculous right? But hear out the metaphor.

For the sake of consistency let’s say the game I’m referring to is Super Mario 64. The overarching theme is to collect all of the stars. I believe there were something like 200 total in the game. To collect them all would mean you’d completed 100% of the game. You could still win though without being so thorough. Obviously you’re trying to rescue Peach by ultimately defeating Bowser in the hardest-to-reach level. You don’t have to get alll the stars to obtain access to that level though; let’s say it requires 170 to open. So then technically you could achieve the goal of the story line without getting the full 100% of stars. Then of course you could be the apathetic gamer who doesn’t really care that much about winning but perhaps simply wants to have access to all or some of the different levels. This is the more ambiguous range because you could be anywhere from 15 to 100. Last, there’s the fledgling who has just begun and only has 2 or 3 stars to their name. 

Here comes the comparison: on Facebook the people you know the best are the ones whose profiles you have almost if not complete access to. They’re your 100%, I beat the game and surpassed all obstacles kind of friends. Chances are you have a really high count of mutual friends, which means that your ability to see tagged photos is exponentially higher. You won’t be closed out to the tagged photos in albums made private to friends only, nor will you be shut out from “View Tagged Photos of _______” in the first place. Close friends linger somewhere in that 170 star range after which things tend to get sticky. You start getting limited profile status (aka apathetic gamer level). Tagged photos aren’t an option, you can only browse their prof pics, and maybe you’re not given access to all their albums. This is the range you’d expect for close casuals, members of a club you’re not all that enthusiastic about, or people you’re looking to limit (the kids you babysat, their parents, the random former teacher, vindictive exes). Finally, there’s the tell-tale “We probably shouldn’t be friends since we’ve met exactly once, but I’m hoping to glean some valuable information from this friend request/acceptance”. You’ve just started the game with them, meaning you have the annoying limitation of 1.5 mutual friends and access to exactly 2 photos out of the 1,476 they’ve allegedly been tagged in.


Better start logging some hours if they’re worth beating-the-game status…

A hodgepodge of the Ocean State, styles, notable words, my father, and my personal miscellany. For similar ideas with less words, refer to Pinterest.

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