PSA: Moving Writing to Wordpress!
Have decided to move the main content of my blog to Wordpress, where the longer writing style I tend to have fits better! That being said, I will continue to use Tumblr to answer questions and possibly post more fluid photo posts. We shall see. Thanks to my followers here, hope you continue to read over on Wordpress!
Old Dress, New Twist
Vintage Dress, Necklace c/o Lisa Benson, Longchamp Bag
Although I tend to complain that my mother never throws anything away, when it comes to clothes, her reluctance to purge has proven to be beneficial to my own closet. Some of my favorite pieces have been permanently borrowed from both my parents, and this dress is the most recent addition to that wardrobe category.
Though it probably dates back to the 80s or earlier, its simple silhouette, bright goldenrod color, and durable cotton fabric make it a timeless piece I could have easily purchased in the current season. Its length (tea length or just above the ankle) means it also loosely fits in to the maxi dress trend that is still having its moment. Paired with a statement necklace, it was the perfect outfit for some summer cocktails with family at Castle Hill.
On being open to the future.
It sometimes seems surreal to imagine that on July 15, 2012 I could be sitting here on my couch chatting with my dad, but here a year later, I will never be able to have a conversation with him again. When he was diagnosed with terminal cancer in November of 2011, I was told he would have three months. It was amazing that he almost lived for a whole year after that diagnosis, and even more amazing that I was blessed with 21 wonderful years with him. This is not to say that it wasn’t hard to deal with his illness and death - it was. After the fact, I found myself feeling like a huge door had been shut on what had been my life before September 23, 2012 - it was like every day that passed was another 24 hours separating me from the part of my life when I’d had a father who was alive. However, I always felt that the situation, one which seemed so different than a lot of the stresses that the average junior in college has, would end up teaching me something about life. One of those lessons was to continue to remember the beauty of what the future can hold.
At a point where what I wanted most was to keep my personal burden from being anyone else’s responsibility, I also deeply longed for someone to step in to comfort me, something I knew wasn’t easy to ask of another. I knew that anyone who might be even remotely interested in pursuing me romantically might shy away because of my personal life - after all, not every twenty-something year old guy is prepared to date someone who has just lost a parent. The same situation that I felt might be an obstacle to someone wanting to be with me ended up acting as a filter, through which I found someone who was more than willing to help me bear my burden, someone who has been more wonderful than I ever could have imagined.
I know that not everyone supports the idea of a “great plan” or “destiny,” but I can’t pretend like I don’t believe that sometimes things happen for a reason. I definitely don’t think my dad’s sickness “happened” so I could find someone I loved, but I do think it prepared me to recognize someone who was willing to take me seriously from the very beginning of our relationship, someone worthy of that love. Falling in love with the man who is now my boyfriend helped the future become a time I could look forward to rather than a a passage of time that separated me from the first man I ever loved. For that, fate or not, I couldn’t be more grateful.
Thanks to Tumblr for notifying me that yesterday was my blog’s three year birthday. A lot has happened in those three years, and I’m not entirely sure that Newport State of Mind has kept the direction I intended it to have when it started. Somewhere along the lines, I think I got too stereotypically Tumblr - too wrapped up in compiling matching images and quotes and not concerned enough with adding in pieces of myself. A lot of the writing waned, images began to dominate, and I made a bunch of changes that I don’t remember being happy with after the fact. I neglected posting at all for the past couple of months.
Birthdays, like any anniversary, are a time to reflect on a year passed and what has taken place in that period of time. When you’re little, they’re exciting. Actually, when you’re older they can be pretty exciting too (here’s looking at you 16th and 21st birthdays). No matter what age, they’re a way of remembering how far you’ve come - a personal New Year’s in a way, a time to make resolutions on how this next year will be different in some way. So on the three year and one day birthday of Newport State of Mind, I resolve to make it better, make it more regular, and make it more reminiscent of why I was inspired to start it in the first place: as a mean of sharing what I love, what I think, what I do, and where I do. Cheers to three years.